Roddy Piper’s fabled career spans more than three decades.  Splitting his time between the wrestling ring and the silver screen, Roddy was the Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson of his day with prominent roles in cult favorites like Robert Boris’ “Buy & Cell” (1987) and John Carpenter’s “They Live” (1988).  And, while not my favorite Piper film, “Hell Comes to Frogtown” is a perfect case study of how a film achieves cult classic status.

A film can only be as good as its storyline.  Despite significant setbacks like poor acting or an insufficient budget, a movie can still be a huge success with a powerful story that captures the imagination. On the other hand, all the best actors and special effects artists in the world can’t turn a rotten script into an Academy Award winner.  ”Hell Comes to Frogtown” is a little of both.

As the film begins, we are introduced to a post-apocalyptic wasteland. We learn that World War III has taken place, which has almost entirely destroyed the human race.  As the story progresses, we are introduced to Sam Hell (Roddy Piper) who is chained to a chair in a dark room.  He is being interrogated and beaten with glass bottles when two nurses enter the room. The interrogator is informed that Sam has impregnated a woman, which appears to be shocking news to them all.  He is taken by the nurses, who are employees of Med-Tech, and offered a new life if he will help them with a special project.  He is informed that the nuclear war eradicated over half the male population leaving the rest sterile. Apparently Sam is one of the few males left packing a “loaded weapon” and the government is desperate. He agrees to help and signs a consent form. It is only then that he is told of the rules and stipulations that come along with this assignment, chief among them that he is required to wear a chastity belt at all times to protect his now government-owned equipment.

As the film progresses, we follow Sam into the land of the “greeners,” Frogtown. He is taken there on assignment by Nurse Spangle (Sandahl Bergman) and Centinella (Cec Verrell), a tough as nails soldier tasked with protecting Sam. We come to find out that Sam’s ultimate goal is to infiltrate Frogtown, rescue enslaved human women and return to safety so that Sam can perform his “government duty.”

The group arrives in Frogtown where Sam meets an old friend named Looney Tunes. Looney informs Sam that he will be able to set up a meeting to negotiate the release of the enslaved human women, but during the meeting Spangle is taken prisoner by a Frogtown guard.  Sam is attacked and taken prisoner as well. When he wakes up he is greeted by a female frog who confesses her love for him and desire to be with him.  Sam, on the verge of giving in to her seduction (after providing a bag for her to put over her head), then remembers that Spangle is in trouble.  His new frog friend, Arabella, becomes their contact into Frogtown and offers to take Sam to Spangle.

He finds where she is being held and stumbles into a secret meeting with Commander Toty, the leader of the frog people.  Spangle is fastened to an altar surrounded by five women dancing seductively around her.  These are the women that Sam has come to save.  Standing in the way, however, is Commander Toty, who has become smitten with Spangle and intends to use her for his own pleasure.  After a struggle, Sam is able to free Spangle and the girls and make it back to their truck to escape.

Toty’s attempt to pursue them leads to a final showdown between he and Sam.  Toty is defeated, of course, and Sam and his girls head back to the truck.  Spangle says that Med-Tech owes him a lot and promises that once he finishes his assignment she can get him a few weeks off so that they can be alone.  When he finally asks what the assignment is the camera cuts to the five fertile women in the back of the truck.  He then responds that it’s true what they say; a soldier’s work is never done. They drive off into the desert as the credits roll.

To give an idea of how poor the acting in “Frogtown” is, Roddy Piper’s performance was the lone bright spot.  When you cast a professional wrestler as the star of your film, there are going to be issues.

Piper is surprisingly adept considering the little experience he had at the time and for the material he was given to work with. He was coherent and delivered his lines well with a slice of humor and charm.  His performance, while raw, was solid and his character draws the viewer into the narrative.  He manages to mold an arrogant character into someone sympathetic who we can root for.

Aside from Piper, the rest of the cast was less than notable.  Sandahl Bergman, who didn’t add much to the film other than taking up space in most scenes, was the only other cast member with redeeming qualities.

There really isn’t much to say about sound and special effect in this one. I can’t really think of a time that it seemed out of place or hurt the film progression, only because I can’t really remember any musical score at all. The sound effects are classic 80s, a perfect match for “Frogtown.”

With a half decent script, this B-movie adventure may have achieved something more.  Instead, that glaring problem took the film down, crashing and burning. Even in 1988 the post-apocalyptic narrative was tired and worn out. The writers attempted to put a new spin on it having the main character tasked with repopulating the earth, but the novelty wore off about 10 minutes in. If you love Roddy Piper, this film is definitely for you.  It’s entertaining and it’s great to see Piper as a young actor.  If you don’t like Piper or have never heard of him, don’t waste your time — it’s not even bad enough to be funny.

The movie begins with a cold open:  the “camera” casually flies us through the quiet beauties of outer space.  Planets, stars, galaxies and celestial debris float peacefully and gracefully through the great black expanse.  We gradually close in on a small Death Star-like planet bustling with all sorts of alien robotic life forms.  Suddenly, a giant spherical machine, known as Unicron, targets the planet and without warning begins to suck it in like a vacuum, crushing and destroying as it gobbles up everything in its path. The planet’s stunned inhabitants head to a spaceship to escape.  After the planet is thoroughly destroyed, the classic “Transformers” theme, performed by British glam-metal band, Lion, plays over the opening credits, which lists easily the most impressive cast of any animated feature film based on a toy.  More on that later.

After the credits, we learn that it is now 2005 — 20 years after the end of the second season, but sometime before the third season. The film was essentially made to bridge the two seasons so that fans of the show would know why their favorite characters would not be in the third season and how they had died.

We learn that the Decepticons are trying to destroy the Autobots’ planet and that the Autobots are preparing to defend it. The Autobots seem eager to attack the Decepticons but their fearless leader, Optimus Prime, informs them that they don’t yet have the requisite energy cubes to launch a full assault. He sends a ship to Autobot City to gather supplies for the imminent battle.

Not much time is wasted before the first fight occurs, which was good move considering their target market was the first generation hit by the ADHD craze.  The Decepticons attack the supply ship and kill Ironhide, Ratchet, Prowl, and Brawn. They in turn invade the earth disguised as the Autobot ship.

Hordes of Decepticon reinforcements arrive and attack Autobot city, leaving it in shambles and the remaining Autobots fearing for their lives. They call for help from Optimus Prime who, upon arriving at the scene, single handedly manhandles the entire lot of Decepticons, until all that’s left is his arch nemesis, Megatron.  After a battle of the titans, Megatron is defeated and begs for mercy, which throws Optimus off long enough for him to grab a gun.  Optimus is made to pay for his mercy with his life.  Before dying, he passes the matrix of leadership on to Ultra Magnus.

The Decepticons discard the broken in their ranks, including Megatron, into the nether regions of space.  They eventually run into Unicron who offers them new bodies and life to do his will. Megatron is rejuvenated and renamed Galvatron, and replacing Frank Welker, is now voiced by none other than Leonard Nimoy.

Unicron then consumes the moons of Cybertron, including Jazz, Bumblebee, Cliffjumper and Spike, who are rescued later.  Ultra Magnus is destroyed and Hot Rod uses the matrix to become Rodimus Prime. He becomes the leader of the Autobots and destroys Unicron while rescuing Jazz, Bumblebee, Cliffjumper and Spike.  The Autobots take control of Cybertron again and the film ends with Unicron’s head orbiting Cybertron like a satellite.  Writer Ron Friedman certainly earned his paycheck on this one.

Now, about that fantastic cast.  Nimoy’s talents are only the tip of the iceberg.  In addition to the large number of voices from the original television cast including Welker, Peter Cullen, Scatman Crothers (in his final role), John Moschitta, Jr. and Casey Kasem, a mish-mash of varied and unbelievable talent came together for this thing.  Judd Nelson, Eric Idle, that kid from “Over the Top,” Robert Stack (“Unsolved Mysteries”), Lionel Stander, Roger C. Carmel, Christopher Collins, Don Messick and last and certainly most impressive, the great Orson Welles in his final performance, all found something in “The Transformers: The Movie” worthy of their talents.  Eat your heart out Michael Bay.

The only real bone I have to pick in this department is with Blurr. I have nothing against John Moschitta, Jr., I just can’t stand his character. It is this man’s opinion that he is one of the most ridiculous and annoying characters ever created, rivaling even the despised Jar Jar Binks for top honors.

Another bright point is the now hopelessly cheesy music.  The opening scene with Lion’s earnestly rocking theme makes it almost impossible not to get excited for what’s to come.  A killer mix of nostalgia, cheese and genuinely blood-pumping 80s hair-metal is hard to ignore, especially for someone whose childhood was defined by such.  The rest of the soundtrack keeps the film moving along nicely with gems like Stan Bush’s classic “The Touch” and “Dare to be Stupid” by Weird Al Yankovic, and a handful of original pieces from Vince DiCola, including the powerful “Death of Optimus Prime.”

Wholly a product of their time, the sound effects are a fantastic time capsule of classic 1980s pop culture. From the weapons firing to the sound it makes when they transform, everything is spot on.  Those sound effects, along with the brilliant cast, irresistible soundtrack and great action, are where this film really shines.  Its only real weaknesses reside in the script’s occasionally convoluted storyline and in the missing bridges between some of the bigger set pieces. Luckily Nelson Shin, Director and Producer, was able to keep the audience drawn in primarily with that soundtrack during the slower, dryer parts of the film.

Overall, 84 minutes feels a bit too long for a “Transformers” cartoon, though a valiant effort by talented people makes “The Transformers: The Movie” more than worthy as a meaningless bit of entertainment and effective dose of nostalgia.

I only remember seeing bits and pieces of this film during my childhood but remember it being dark and somewhat creepy compared to my beloved Judy Garland and her magical land of Oz. After having watched it again I realized that as a child I couldn’t truly appreciate a good musical, which is exactly what “The Wiz” happens to be.

Story – 4/5

“The Wiz,” originally a 1975 Broadway musical written by William F. Brown, was adapted to film by Joel Schumacher and saw its theatrical debut in October 1978.  “The Wiz” took a classic beloved children’s story and audaciously pushed it to a new and altogether different level. While the central plot remains the same, there are a number of significant differences in this all African American adaptation.

The script for this film is pretty solid and flows really well, which isn’t terribly difficult considering the fact that there was a book as well as a previous film from which to model.

The story begins with Dorothy Gale (Diana Ross) helping her Aunt Em prepare Thanksgiving dinner for her family. Instead of being set in nostalgic early 1900s Kansas, “The Wiz” takes place in modern, urban New York.  While her family is having dinner and enjoying one another’s company, Dorothy escapes to the kitchen where she begins to sing about the loneliness that she feels in her heart. It is immediately evident that Dorothy is timid and somewhat of an outcast in her family with only her dog Toto to console her.  Not long into the film, Toto runs away and as Dorothy chases after him, a snow twister carries her into the night.

Dorothy crashes into Oz through the roof of what appears to be a run down Munchkinland. There are graffiti figures on the walls and a dead Wicked Witch of the East crushed under a piece of the ceiling. This is where things start to get a bit strange. The graffiti on the walls comes to life and approaches Dorothy, informing her that Evermean, the Witch of the East, had trapped them in the wall. The spell was broken when she was killed and the “Munchkins” can now live in peace.

Like the original story, a Glinda type character, Miss One, provides Dorothy with the silver slippers and instructs her on how to get to the Wiz. She begins down what is left of the yellow brick road, largely random broken bricks scattered about on a path, and eventually comes across the Scarecrow (Michael Jackson), The Tin Man (Nipsey Russell) and the Cowardly Lion (Ted Ross). The latter two encounters aren’t overly noteworthy but the meeting of the Scarecrow is quite possibly the best scene in the film.

Dorothy arrives at a refuse dump and hears some voices. She hides and sees a group of crows dancing around and making fun of a scarecrow on a pole. The crows refuse to help the Scarecrow down off of his pole and they make him recite “The Crow Laws” which demean the Scarecrow and explain how great the crows are. What makes this scene so powerful is when Scarecrow sings “You Can’t Win” while still attached to his pole. Eventually Dorothy comes out of hiding and scares the crows off, helps the Scarecrow down and they continue down the road to Oz singing “Ease on Down the Road.”

Shortly after Dorothy and the entire group of friends are united, the creepiest and probably most out of place scene occurs. I understand that the scene is in the film to establish credibility for Lion, but after I explain, you’ll agree that they could have gone about it differently.

First, the group enters a subway to get to the Emerald City. While in the subway, they encounter an old man who is carrying around two marionettes. As he begins to make them dance, they come alive, break free from their strings, grow larger than life and, for no apparent reason, being chasing the group, hell-bent on destroying them. They finally get through a gate and lock the marionettes in, only to realize that their unusual trip to the subway isn’t over. The Lion saves the Scarecrow from demonic garbage cans and the Tin Man from being electrocuted by the subway’s electrical system. He then sees the support pillars coming to life and breaking free from the ceiling and floor. They chase Dorothy and surround her, clearly plotting to pillage her. The Lion uses his brute strength to spread the pillars apart just long enough for Dorothy to escape. The group rushes out of the subway and find themselves just outside of the Emerald City.

As is expected, the group meets with The Wiz (Richard Pryor) who sends them on the arduous task of defeating Evillene, the Wicked Witch of the West. Feeling a little slighted by The Wiz, the group rents a hotel room and discusses what they are going to do. Dorothy finally decides that, while she doesn’t want to kill anyone, she can never be happy in Oz and killing Evillene is her only logical option.

The group eventually finds Evillene in her underground sweatshop where she has slaves working for her. The group is captured and taken before Evillene who demands the silver slippers from Dorothy. When Dorothy refuses, Evillene cuts Scarecrow in half, crushes the Tin Man, lifts the Lion into the air and threatens to throw Toto into a furnace joking that he’d be “one hot dog.” Dorothy eventually saves the day by pulling a fire alarm, which sets off the sprinkler system and melts Evillene.

The group then returns to see The Wiz, only to see the giant Wiz head knocked over and the room in shambles. They walk over to a bed in the room and pull the covers off revealing The Wiz. They accuse him of being a phony and he admits to not having any powers and being “just plain old Herman Smith from Atlantic City.” He eventually reveals that he has a hot air balloon, which is how he got to Oz.

This is where the story differs from the original. The Wiz, unable to grant their wishes, turns to Dorothy for the pearls of wisdom. She tells the Scarecrow that he’s had a brain all along because he’s the one who originally found the yellow brick road and it was his idea to pull the fire alarm. She tells the Lion that he’s had courage all along. The Tin Man has more heart than anyone she’s ever known. Dorothy sings about believing in oneself and then she is approached by Glinda the Good Witch (Lena Horne) who tells her that she’s done good in helping her friends find what was already inside of them. She informs Dorothy that she’s had the power to go home inside of her the entire time. She sings about how she needs to believe and click her heels three times.

Dorothy sings about going home in a powerful final number. The background fades away and it is just Dorothy singing with a black background. She then clicks her heels together and is taken back home. The film ends with Dorothy running across the street and into her apartment building.

Dorothy will never forget her time in Oz, nor the final bit of the Scarecrow’s newly found knowledge, which sums up the entire subtext of the movie quite nicely.

“Success, fame, fortune. They’re all illusions. All there is that is real is the friendship that two can share.”

Acting – 3/5

Acting is usually what makes or breaks a film. If the actors are too over the top the film becomes campy, even irritating. On the flip side, if the actors lack talent, the film can quickly become a joke and be difficult to sit through. This film has the best, and worst for that matter, of both categories.

Now you’re looking at the rating of this category and thinking to yourself that 3/5 isn’t terrible. I agree, however it is just mediocre. If you take a look at the other ratings, you’ll notice that the acting was the downfall of this film.

Before I delve deeper, it should be noted that there are some really big names in this film, most of which gained fame as musicians and singers. The cast included Diana Ross, Michael Jackson, Richard Pryor and Nipsey Russell. On paper, it’s hard to believe that this cast wouldn’t work. The reality is that it likely would have worked much better if the dialogue in the film was sung 100% of the time; sadly this was not the case.

The main issue that you’ll find most critics had with this film was Diana Ross. I agree that she was the weakest of the bunch, but for a different reason entirely. Most critics argued that Ross was too old to play the part of Dorothy Gale. She was definitely older than Dorothy, but she didn’t look it. The makeup artists did a great job of making her look younger than she was. My qualm is that she has no acting talent whatsoever. In fact, saying that she can’t act would be an overstatement. I understand that this may seem harsh, but it’s the painful truth. That’s not to say that she was terrible in this movie, because she wasn’t. Fortunately a majority of her lines were in song. Diana Ross, as we all know, is an incredible singer and this absolutely stands true in this film. When she was singing, she was brilliant; it was only during her speaking parts that she became stale and generic.

While the remainder of the cast was good, one man stole the show with his singing, acting and dancing skills, as well as his overall demeanor; that man was Michael Jackson. We all know Jackson as the King of Pop from his long and illustrious singing career, but in this film he displays how talented he really was as an overall entertainer. From the time that he is introduced until the end of the film, Jackson is able to connect with the viewer in an intimate way that leaves you rooting for him and genuinely wanting him to succeed. His singing was outstanding but what was really admirable was the way that he was able to really make the Scarecrow character his own. He was able to do this by incorporating his ability to dance and be light on his feet. While the rest of the cast was borderline forgettable, Jackson raised the bar and really made this film enjoyable.

Sound/Special Effects – 3.5/5

In the 1970′s, the world hadn’t quite broken through into the digital age, which probably plays a big role in the film’s special effects shortcomings, but because I’m an optimist, I like to think that the pared down visuals were a conscious decision in order to help deliver the original Broadway experience directly into the viewer’s home.

What was lost in special effects was more than made up for with the sound and musical score. Produced by musical legends Luther Vandross and Quincy Jones, the entire soundtrack was nothing short of phenomenal.

Overall Score – 3.5/5

I really enjoyed this film. While I never had the opportunity to see the play, I get the feeling that not much was changed in the transition to film.

While I am a huge fan of the 1939 film, “The Wizard of Oz,” the characters in “The Wiz” felt more intimate. I was able to connect with them on a more personal level and actually cared that they completed their journey. In the end, the story is essentially the same, but “The Wiz” is a more exciting journey thanks to the unforgettable characters and, of course, the music. “The Wiz” is a fresh take on a timeless classic and it’s worth every minute.

Under the Radar by Greg Kita
Under the Radar is a weekly column written by The Moving Arts Film Journal’s resident expert on schlocky cinema, Greg Kita, that focuses on B-movies, cult classics, genre films, and low-budget flicks–Hollywood’s neglected step-children. For every Citizen Kane there is a Citizen Toxie; for every Lawrence of Arabia there is a Larry of Arabia. Regardless of how critically acclaimed or maligned, they have helped launch and further the careers of many struggling filmmakers. Check out the Under the Radar Archives.

Enter the B movie.

Whether you refer to them as B Movies, Bad Movies or simply Low Budget, these films, regardless of how good or bad, have been integral in launching and furthering the careers of countless iconic filmmakers through the years. While most low budget filmmakers move on to larger budget studios and more mainstream filmmaking, there are those who, for various reasons, continue making low budget films, reveling in the schlock, and excel in doing so. One of the more influential of them is Roger Corman, the King of B Movies. Due to the sheer volume of his films, I will inevitably return to a few of his classics in future reviews; today, however, I will be looking into one of his lesser known films, The Fantastic Four.

By 1992, German film company Neue Constantin Films had held the rights to make a film adaptation of the Fantastic Four franchise for several years but their rights were to expire at the end of the year, effectively transferring them back to Marvel. Unable to secure the $40 million that was needed to make a full budget film, Corman was brought on to cut the budget and complete the Oley Sassone-directed film. He scaled the budget back from $40 million to $1.4 million and Roger Corman’s The Fantastic Four was born.

One can only imagine that a film that was slated to be a $40 million project but scaled back to $1.4 million would have it’s fair share of problems and I’m here to tell you that it most certainly did. I’m not saying that the film was terrible, because it really wasn’t, but there are a few things that could have been changed to make for a better overall experience.

Story – 3/5

The story line of this movie was actually fairly well written.  Penned by Craig J. Nevius and Kevin Rock, the narrative rarely strayed far from its comic book origins.

The film tells the story of the Fantastic Four; how they became so “fantastic”, their struggles in coping with their new found powers and their first battles with super villains. There are two primary villains in this film, namely Dr Doom and the lesser known Mole Man. Now I agree with introducing Dr Doom as the Fantastic Four’s primary rival, which included a fairly traditional account of their early confrontations with him, but was it really necessary to include the little known Mole Man (whose only super power is being incredibly creepy) as a side villain in a feature film? My answer is a simple no. I know that there are going to be die hard Marvel fans out there who will argue that Mole Man does in fact have heightened senses but he doesn’t seem to use them in this film; the only thing he does manage to do is kidnap women and creep them out. While he was a legitimate villain in the Marvel universe, he did nothing to progress this story nor did he draw me in as a viewer.

Hollywood has been notorious about trying to take as many villains as possible and cramming them all into 120 minutes of action film goodness. The results are usually more like 120 minutes of action film chaos and confusion. A prime example of this is Batman Returns. It would be futile to dwell on that film, but the nuts and bolts of its failures are that the filmmakers felt that they needed two villains, Catwoman and The Penguin, when the obvious antagonistic struggle was with the former. This caused the story to jump all over the place and minimized the likelihood of seeing a developed character in The Penguin. Danny DeVito’s Penguin is the only other side villain that I can think of that is so unnecessary that it becomes a distraction from the actual plot of the film. ‘Nuff said.

Conclusion: While there were distractions and follies throughout, there was enough substance to make this film watchable. The main plot was fairly faithful to the comics and campy enough to make it fun.

Acting – 1.5/5

There’s not much to say for the acting in this film; it was just plain bad. The cast is full of no name talent, which is not a surprise on such a low budget, but it’s painfully obvious throughout the film. Jay Underwood plays Johnny Storm (The Human Torch) but is so overly enthusiastic that it detracts from Johnny’s fiery and short tempered personality.

Two other issues that I had with the acting weren’t issues with actors, per se, but with their lines and stage direction.

My first issue is with The Thing’s classic catchphrase which, as we all know, is “It’s clobberin’ time.” You are expecting him to say this at least once during the course of the movie, what you don’t expect is for him to say it so often. It’s like the writers were dared to see how many times they could work the phrase into the script. The answer is three. Now I know what you’re thinking; you’re thinking ‘Three times in 90 minutes isn’t too bad.’ You, unfortunately, are incorrect. They are so blatantly obvious and so awkwardly placed that it is grating. Do I think that The Thing should use his catchphrase in this film? Yes, but not like this.

The second issue I had was with Dr Doom. Since he’s wearing a mask, which is another issue that I’ll address in the sound effects section, you cannot see his mouth move and he becomes a very stale and stagnant character. What’s the easiest way to compensate for this? Body language. Dr Doom is very animated and speaks with his hands a lot–and when I say a lot, I’m not kidding around. He becomes over animated and cheesy. Without using hyperbole, his body language can honestly be described as atrocious. The way he is constantly moving his hands in all directions, tapping his fingers together and rubbing his chin like he’s in a permanent state of meditation is, quite simply put, unnecessary. They had the right idea but took it way too far.

The saving grace of the acting in this film was Alex Hyde-White, whose portrayal of Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) was spot on. Reed is an intellectual introvert with a strange attraction to Sue Storm who is significantly younger than he is. Hyde-White was able to take this character and make it his own

Conclusion: The acting as a whole was really rather painful.

Sound/Special Effects – 2.5/5

The sound/special effects were decent for what was available in 1992. The music, written by David and Eric Wurst, was really quite good and would be great as a standalone piece of work, but is not a proper fit for this film. It never quite matched the events that were taking place nor did they carry the proper emotions to draw the viewer in and help them connect with the characters. The only major sound related issue that I had in this film is that Dr Doom sounded like he was inside a metal shipping crate the entire movie. I know that they were trying to get a natural sounding echo because he wears a mask, and I don’t disagree with their decision on this, but when the echo is so prominent that it makes it difficult to understand what the character is saying, you’ve done something wrong. My advice would be to tone down the echo effect so that the dialogue is understandable, but then again, I’m no filmmaker.

As far as visual effects are concerned, they were pretty non-existent. I know that they were working with less than is available in today’s world, but throw me a bone. The special effects consisted of making Reed’s arm and leg stretch really far, and making Johnny’s hand and body glow.

Conclusion: The lack of budget really shined in this department. The sound/special effects were low quality and sub par.

Overall Score – 2.5/5

While this movie is fun and campy, it’s not a must see film. It is quite evident that it was never intended to be released, as it was hurriedly and shoddily thrown together.

My recommendations are as follows:

• Fantastic Four Comic Fans – Find a copy of this and enjoy yourselves. While it may not be up to par with the latest and greatest comic book in the series, at least you’ll be able to brag to your friends that you’ve experienced something ‘Fantastic’ that they haven’t.
• Everyone Else – Don’t lose any sleep over not seeing this film. It’s not bad but it’s far from being any good. As much as I hate to say this, you’re better off renting the 2005 Fantastic Four. (I can’t believe I just recommended that movie)

Under the Radar is a weekly column written by The Moving Arts Film Journal’s resident expert on schlocky cinema, Greg Kita, that focuses on B-movies, cult classics, genre films, and low-budget flicks–Hollywood’s neglected step-children. Read more at our columns page.