Paranormal Activity (2009)

Thump… Creeeak…..  THUMP! Fear.  The invaluable evolutionary tool that has enabled our survival of predation from prehistoric menaces like the saber-toothed tiger and aided our scattered tribes into eventual planet domination and thriving globalization has become all but useless.  Of course, true danger still exists, but how many times a day, or even in a [...]

Jennifer’s Body (2009)

The objectified star of a million adolescent fantasies, Megan Fox has ascended the misogyny-fostering ranks of Hollywood’s considerable plastic actress sector faster than you can say “botox.” Funny thing is, she’s managed to become Tinseltown’s most sought after leading lady without ever being required to act.  Director Karyn Kusama, best known for 2000′s “Girlfight,” aims [...]

Orphan (2009)

With protesting rapidly emerging as a new national pastime, it’s shocking that middle-aged housewives and adoption advocates aren’t lining the streets opposite Warner Bros. Studios shouting invectives and waving signs decrying Hollywood’s perverse, anti-family agenda.  Of course, Hollywood’s only real agenda is to make profitable movies notwithstanding message, culture, artistic or social merit, or humanity, [...]

Home (2009)

“In 200,000 years on earth humanity has upset the balance of the planet, established by nearly 4 billion years of evolution.  The price to pay is high, but it’s too late to be a pessimist: Humanity has barely 10 years to reverse the trend, become aware of the full extent of its spoilation of the [...]

Drag Me to Hell (2009)

Remakes, reboots, re-imaginings, sequels and prequels dominate modern Hollywood.  America’s mainstream film culture is in such dire need of ideas that it was even recently reported that Universal will be adapting the “Where’s Waldo” children’s book series for the big screen.  Talk about desperate. Director, Sam Raimi, celebrated titan of horror, even dabbled in that [...]

Coraline (2009)