Rich, middle-aged, white women sitting around a posh Santa Barbara pad drinking expensive wine and talking about their vaginas.  If that doesn’t sound appealing then “It’s Complicated” probably isn’t the movie for you.

Nancy Meyers (“What Women Want,” “The Holiday”) directs Meryl Streep as Jane, a lonely, aging, divorced bakery owner who habitually runs into her ex-husband, Jake (Alec Baldwin), and his twenty-something wife and former mistress.  Things get a little complicated when they rekindle their romance.  Jane’s simultaneously growing interest in her architect, Adam (Steve Martin), the fact that Jake is still married, and their attempts to hide the affair from their grown children, create a star-crossed love triangle of affluent people with psychiatrists whose only problems are that they still haven’t figured out how to create meaningful relationships.  A tip: If you’re wealthy enough to have a regular shrink, your problems probably aren’t bad enough to necessitate a shrink.

The artificiality doesn’t end there.  Blasé mentions of a year apprenticing at a bakery in Paris on a whim, bike rides in Tuscany, etc.  Who does Meyers think she’s kidding?  Does she really think there are more than a few people that could possibly connect with these spoiled brats?  The superficiality of it all is a little sickening.  Not to mention the sheer unbelievability of it all.  Jane and Jake’s grown children are more childish than my 3-year-old nephew.  Upon learning that their parents had indulged in a little fling ten years after their divorce, these supposed adults begin crying and have a big sleepover/pity party where they commiserate about the damage caused by the divorce.  Boohoo.  Please stop wasting my time.

But the worst sin of all is the unpardonable waste of comedic royalty, Steve Martin.  I may have been able to overlook the film’s glaring flaws if only Martin were used for something more than a doormat.  His character rarely emotes and is about as lively as the kids in Ben Stein’s class in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.”

It’s not all bad though.  Baldwin and Streep are both as charming as ever and have genuine chemistry.  Some of their exchanges, particularly thanks to Baldwin’s unending charisma, almost justify the price of admission.  And there are some scattered gags and throwaway lines along that way that really hit their mark, but as a whole, “It’s Complicated” is a needless foray into the pampered lives of people most of us couldn’t even begin to relate to and whose problems consist of an already gourmet kitchen not being big enough or luxurious enough for a middle-aged divorcee.

Score: 2/5