Top 5 Movies Concerning Angels or Demons

May 20th, 2009

In step with our recent review and podcast about Ron Howard’s latest film, “Angles & Demons,” we decided to devise a list of the best, funniest, and most ridiculous films that involve either angels or demons.

#5. Angels in the Outfield (Director’s Cut)

A director’s cut for this film doesn’t exist. But it would be awesome if it did. The theatrical version is an impossibly ridiculous, cheesy schlop of sentimentality. The story focuses on a baseball-loving kid whose parents have split up. When he asks his dad if they’ll ever be a family again the reply is, “I’d say when the Angels win the pennant,” which is really just a nicer version of “not a chance in hell.” Well, this kid clearly isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer as he somehow takes this statement literally and prays for the Angels, his favorite baseball club to win.

Our fantasy of the director’s cut would be the exact same movie with a slight alteration at the end. After the Angels win the pennant, instead of the family living happily ever after, the kid would say, “So dad, now are we gonna be family?” And the dad would say, “What, are you an idiot? Of course not. That was a figure of speech, stupid.  You really thought I was basing my relationship with your mother on how well a baseball team plays?  You’re dumber than I thought.”  Tell me that’s not an infinitely better film.

#4. Spawn
A terrible movie. So why is it on our list? Two words. John Leguizamo. The short, disgusting little demonic minion he plays is 10 times scarier than this film’s laughable, CGI rendered Satan.

#3. Angels (book)
Ok, so this isn’t a movie, but it is a great book. Angels is the most critically acclaimed of Denis Johnson’s novels and follows a runaway wife toting two children on a cross country odyssey on greyhound buses. It’s dark, visceral, and stunning.

#2. Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
The only legitimately good film on the list. Johnny Depp stars as a demonic barber that not only gives great haircuts, he’s a pretty inventive murderer/entrepreneur as well. You see, he sings, cuts hair, slices throats, and then sells the ground up corpses to unsuspecting customers as “meat pies.”

#1. Angels With Filthy Souls
“Keep the change ya filthy animal!” You may recognize that line which comes from the old, black and white gangster movie that Kevin Mccallister (Macaulay Culkin) watches in the film “Home Alone.” The great thing about “Angels With Filthy Souls” is that it’s not a movie at all. It’s an entirely fabricated scene created specifically for the purpose of existing in “Home Alone.”  It is, however, based on the 1938 Jimmy Cagney, Humphrey Bogart classic, “Angels With Dirty Faces.”  But we prefer the fake one.  It’s absolutely hilarious.  Here’s a clip:

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